Lesson Learned

Yeay! Finally, first writing of 2019!

Even though it is 2019 already, I want to dedicate this first post to glance a bit on how 2018 shaped me. I am thankful for the ride God has given me a chance to enjoy, and grateful for the people who have believed in me. Overall, it was a year full of hard work and self-discovery. Something I predicted and thankfully, something I am very much blessed upon.

Even though it is 2019 already, I want to dedicate this first post to glance a bit on how 2018 shaped me. I am thankful for the ride God has given me a chance to enjoy, and grateful for the people who have believed in me. Overall, it was a year full of hard work and self-discovery. Something I predicted and thankfully, something I am very much blessed upon.

The first trimester of 2019 was a slow run. Nothing much happened in my workplace, mostly we hang in here and there and I got a chance to meet many new business partners (thanks to my CEO who allow me to tagged-in every time). Mostly talking about ideas, making presentations, pitched here and there. I recognized that it is almost paternalized, the way I spend the beginning of the year by investing in connections and ideations, something I did back then in 2017 as well.

The second trimester was a wake-up call. We signed some deals, and I got some really nice job offerings even though I decided not to accept in order to continue a project my office has trusted me to run. And oh, I got engaged too! (signed the deal with my fiancé 😎). It was actually not the kind of engagement you’ll see on TV. My fiancé never really proposed me because in our 6 years journey together, we just planned that someday we will go this way 😂. So, we just find a good time where we are mentally and financially ready to get married and build our foundation as a family.

The third trimester was a wowzy ride. It was Asian Games 2018, my biggest campaign project of the year and one of the most challenging moments in 2018. If it is a roller coaster, maybe it was the peak point. I was mentally challenged and almost gave up due to the amount of stress in the middle of the way. Perhaps it was my first tears on 2018 that I really really cried and I really really felt mad and disappointed. Alhamdulillah, I managed the shit storm and came back as a winner (WEEEE ARE THE CHAMPIONN MAFREEEEE~~NNN…)

Haha kidding.

Yes, I managed to overcome the crisis and made 60 million+ views (it could be more actually) as the result of the campaign. Perhaps I was just lucky. I don’t know. At least I am happy that I made it. I survive and I MADE IT 🏆

The fourth trimester was full of surprises. It was indeed my busiest months of the year. I traveled a lot (not overseas yet ☹️) but around cities for wedding prep and oftentimes, meet my family. My lovely Grandma passed away (may she rest in peace, insha Allah) and I was really sad that she had to leave us just months before my wedding. We already prepared a dress for her, but God decided to call her earlier to take away her pain 😭 Please insert your prayers to my Grandma… Al Faathihah….

In the meantime, it was the Asian Para Games 2018 and I was selected to be part of a dream team as Selection Panel for 17.000+ volunteers’ applications. That 10 days was HORROR. I slept deprived for 2 weeks and perhaps felt nauseated after looking at spreadsheets to spreadsheets.

However, it wasn’t total horror though… because I was part of a very cooperative, manageable, full of spirit, dedicated team!! It was indeed a dream team anyone could’ve asked for. The panels consist of people across many backgrounds. They were all smart and ambitious and full of medals history but no one looking down at each other. We felt like 10 days was too short for us (but nope, the workloads ain’t sexy *lambaikan tangan ke kamera*).

It was a happy crisis. We were mentally and physically challenged but we are happy to have it on the way. We managed it (of course – thanks to amazing team and leaders!) and the Asian Para Games 2018 was also a success story after the Asian Games 2018. I am so glad I became a part of both, as a history maker in Indonesia 🇲🇨❤️

Finally, I marked the end of 2018 with the celebration of the year: wedding! I don’t know if it’s something I should celebrate (because I felt like I was on the Escape Room and someone told me: “Hello hello. You just entered a never-ending problem zone”). Truthfully, I don’t get it to why people are so excited to get married. I mean, you just signed a deal to be with someone FOREVER, for the rest of your life, for the rest 50-70 years of your mundane life. Man, that is a big deal you’re making!

I told my man “babe, are you ready to be with me, to get bored together? I mean, of course we will not plan to make a boring life – but our life isn’t always candy right? Are you okay to see my face every time you wake up and go to bed, are you okay to report your expenses to me, or worse …. getting mean comments from me? I mean if I’m the employee, I do not want to look at my boss’ face every time even though I’m happy to go to work.”

He was just replied “Ha-ha this question again. You know what, I am happy I chose you and that things you were saying – it’s all better than if I am alone by myself just being me.”

Very, very unromantic, right.

But I think he made a point. We found each other as a partner who needed each other that even though we are so independent in our own – we still need each other for the rest of our lives.

So yes, hello hello! Welcome to the wifey club!

I agree with y’all who said that wedding is not an accomplishment. However, organizing a wedding is! After almost two years of vendor research and drama and a year of technical preparations, I am proud to be able to handle this wedding by ourselves. It wasn’t perfect, I am just very happy that I made it after years of Long-Distance Relationship, struggle of saving money (I should’ve been smarter to invest half of it actually 🤦🏻‍♀️), and some changes here and there to meet my family’s request. I was just glad it was over.

Over? LOL no way!

I know.

I need to be ready for those never-ending questions of offspring production. Or listening to what other people say about us which again, I genuinely do not care. Right now, I am just grateful for the chance Allah gives to both of us as partners. We promised to live well together, to invest in good faith and pursue excellence in whatever we do. I think those what matters most and what we truly need to prioritize right now. How we can do things better together.

To summed up, here are three lesson learned, the most lesson I learnt during 2018:

Be confident, even though you’re not.

I learned this the hard way. Before I agreed to handle a project, I always make sure that I am able to reach every part of the job description. I need to make sure I know everything and able to do almost everything on my own before I delegate to others. Thus, I always carefully pick in what areas I am confident on doing (where I know every bit of it) and value myself based on my limited capability.

Even though I am not entirely wrong on that, I regret not taking the chance to raise my bar higher than I thought I could be. I am not confident enough to take the wheels. The fact is, there will always tons of new things I just knew that I needed to learn fast. I will always step into this ‘unknown’ zone where I know nothing and I need to learn it from other sources. I was not confident to value myself based on what I could becoming. I limitted myself into the “present” where I should also be able to foresee my worth into the “future”.

When I looked back and see what I have successfully accomplished, there is this side of me shouted, “I’ve told you: YOU CAN. You didn’t listen to me.”

Thank you 2018, this lesson is a slap on the face. I should’ve been more confident to value myself and my growth potential. I know that I can always improve on whatever I do thus I need not to be afraid or lowered myself. I need to listen to myself more, because ‘she’ is the only one who believe in me when others might not give the same appreciation.

80/20, focus on the matter.

I learned this principle from reading Richard Koch’s book “The 80/20 Principle”. It was something I knew for a long time but I haven’t really applied that into habit. After reading his book, I de-cluttered things that I thought doesn’t add value to the quality of my works, my relationship, and my life. I tried to achieve more by doing less, which means I learned to spot the most important part – that 20% – that determines the 80% of the outcome and truly focus on that. It is a work in progress, I believe, but I use to ask myself many times on what matters most before doing everything. That really helps to prioritize and do everything more effective and happier.

Work – Life Integration.

I learn this term “Work-Life Integration” (WLI) from CEO of Dana.id, Vince Henry Iswaratioso. I got a chance to meet and have a deep talk on how he viewed life and his company, then I heard this philosophy. When I asked him about how he managed DANA as a company which respect “Work-Life-Balance” (WLB) for all his employees, he said that he actually believed in “WLI” instead of “WLB”. Work should not (and cannot) be separated from Life, because work itself is a part of life. Working is a means to contribute ourselves to the society, to the world, to the cause of our being. So obviously, it is life. Without our meaningful works, there’s no meaningful life.

This is something I believed fit into my condition. I always tried to separate work and personal life but as a person who oftentimes working remotely, the philosophy of WLB doesn’t fit me anymore. I can do office jobs on the weekends, in my parent’s house, on the train, wherever as long as I can get it done without eliminating respect to another people’s time. I can also have many free and leisure time where most people are working so I can spend hours on the bookstore or attending online/offline class I want to.

For me, there’s no use of balancing those two because it will never be. There will always be times when your personal life is being distracted by deadlines and vice versa. I cannot pick one between work and (personal) life, because those two things are meaningful to me. Work gives me space to grow and contribute, while people around me, my personal circle, are my home. I wanted my relationship with them also grows in a healthy and positive way. Thus, the only way to do it is to communicate to both of them clearly.

That’s a wrapped for a little flashback and shared lesson-learned during 2018. This year is quite a challenge for me who went from the concrete jungle to the city of heroes. It’s good to start fresh but also a challenge to pave a new path. Bismillah, mugi-mugi Allah paringi power 💪🏼 ***

Feature image: Norwood Themes. Unsplash.